*prepares party popper*
*nervously shakes the party popper*
*slowly falls asleep with the party popper*
*has a wonderful night with the party popper*
*gets married to the party popper*
It’s a beautiful evening in February. My wife and I are sitting at the fireplace, when suddenly a terrible image appears on the screen of my computer.
My wife looks at me. As I look in her terrified, cardboard eyes, filled with tears, she takes a deep breath, before saying with her shivering voice “It’s what you’ve always wanted, dear. Do it.” My hands start shaking and a lone tear rolls down my cheek. “I can’t, honey. I’m not like that anymore.” “I will do it.” a small voice behind us says. As I turn around, my eyes cross with my son; our son. “You don’t have to do this, Benedict.” I say, as I hold his hands.
Ignoring what I told him, young Benedict Popper-Are Optional holds my wife’s cardboard body in one hand, and her long, beautiful string in the other. With tears in my eyes, I turn my head away. A loud pop sounds behind me and I watch in terror as I see my wife’s confetti spread across the room.
"It’s what you’ve always wanted, dad…" my son says, putting his small, cardboard hand on my shoulder. "Yes," I say, "but not like this… Never like this…"
what the actual fuck
liking someone’s selfie takes two seconds and it boosts their self esteem by 203948204
THE 20 STEPS TO SURVIVAL IN SUPERNATURAL
THERES SO MANY BEYOND PERFECT THINGS ABOUT THIS POST BUT
TAKE NOTE THICKE
21. If you absolutely cannot stay away become part of the Ghostfacers
this is what Hera looks like, blowing kisses to us mortals from her throne in the evening sky
look at how she glistens
I actually look pretty good today #SelfConfidence #LookAtMe #CaptainAmerica
broken britain magazine headlines part 2 electric boogaloo
Ellen DeGeneres aka the sweetest person alive
omg I am gonna cry
my friends sister was telling me about how in highschool a guy tried to take a picture up her skirt as she was walking up stairs and she saw, grabbed his phone, broke it in half, and handed it back to him and said “you can tell your mom why your phones broken”
for a second I forgot about flip phones and I was like how in the holy hell did she rip a phone in half
what if everything you see right now is just a hallucination caused by inhaling oxygen
Is that why when you stop breathing you black out.
GUYS STOP MAKING ME QUESTION MY EXISTENCE
im not surprised when tumblr people are failing classes cause you guys are dumb as fuck